Understanding myself.... It's a cycle!!!

The thought always arises in the mind of almost of every teen or a teen who just came out of the teen-hood - "I have to achieve something 'great' in life". Nowadays in additon to the above question there is one more which arise - "What is the goal/purpose of my life? (say for any being's life)" For 1 year of conscious search and 23 years of unconscious search there is not an iota of progress in the process of finding the answer.

I had certain confusion for the past 2 years in terms of my "career". Never worried about that for the past 22 years and suddenly a labyrinth of confusions came over. My childhood (immature/unlearned) ambition to be a civil services officer. Once joining the company I got myself attached very profound with the work I'm currently pursuing (Again as a CS engineer in India I was expected to join a softwarre company). I disliked the job to the core at the same time did it with sincerity to the core. It is very difficult to describe this oxymoron. It is difficult to believe that I have completed 30 months complaining and 4 months non-complaining (totally 34 months of experience). Something which made me move with this job is my lack of time (my decision) to pursue/ identify my interest due to the time spent in office (10-14 hours) ,my laziness and my deep attachment to any work that I do.

One more reason to go beyond what I am curretly doing is the psychologists call the paralysis of analysis. Only there is analysis and no action out of the analayis. Thinking, thinking and still thinking, but no action out of the thought process.

Currently I believe i the greatest phase in my life due to path which I have started treading. Questioning anything and everything in me not questioning others. Quest for the answers is a very tricky path. I believe I can make it. If I make it the world would be the greatest place to live. As one of my friends placed in his quote "There is only one thing which you can change in this Universe and that is YOU!!" What a simple thing to say but the toughest to practise.

I shall update this blogspace everytime I feel I made a micron of progress in the Quest for truth... Hope I succedd in the quest and the blogspce is updated frequently